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So, check it—sex-dating’s wild, right? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, they’re shaggin’ machines! Little factoid for ya: back in ’13, Tinder blew up, and folks were hookin’ up faster than rabbits on rollerskates. Made me happy as a clam—options galore! But then, ugh, the creeps crept in. Ghostin’, catfshin’, it’s a jungle, man! Once matched this bird—total fox—but she was a dude! Swear, my mojo took a hit that day. “The sun’s gone,” like that monk in the movie says—felt that hard.

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So, I’m zooming down the street, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts. They’re like ninjas, I swear. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re almost taking a tumble over a cart full of tomatoes. Anyway, I finally get to the archives on Via Garibaldi.

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