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About Catania

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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So, we head to the arena, right? It’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m tryin’ to find my spot, but it’s chaos. I bump into this old lady. She’s like, “Watch it, young man!” I’m like, “Sorry, nonna!” But she just glares at me. I mean, c’mon, I’m not the one who decided to stand in the middle of the street!

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