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About Turin

Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? I head to the ancient walls. I mean, these things are older than my grandma! I’m walking along, thinking about life, when I spot this couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then, I see the food they have. Fresh bread, olives, and wine. I’m suddenly jealous.

Castello in fiore – Flowers Market show | Vicopisano