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About Rome

Little known fact, right? Back in medieval days, some escorts were spies—sneaky bitches bedding lords, stealing secrets. Bet that’d shock Larry, eh? “This too shall pass”—bollocks, it don’t pass, it festers! Makes me rage, thinking how they twist “freedom” into fucking for gold. Happy? Nah, never. Surprised? Yeah, when one said she banked more than a knight. More power to her, I s’pose—still a disgrace.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into this cute café on Via della Libertà. Best cappuccino ever, but the barista? Total grump. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not my fault it’s raining!” He just rolls his eyes. Whatever, I’m here for the coffee, not the attitude.

Exploring Tuscany: off the beaten path