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Ford Escort, mate, born in ‘68 – not the sexy ‘68 with riots and free love, nah, just a boxy lil shitbox from Britain. Meant to haul arse, not turn heads. I reckon it’s like me – small, underestimated, but bloody clever. Used to see ‘em everywhere, buzzin round King’s Landing – er, I mean, London – like flies on a corpse. Fun fact, yeah? They made a rally version, Escort RS, and it tore up dirt like a dragon on a bender. Won Monte Carlo in ‘70, surprised the shit outta me! Proper underdog, that.

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Finally, I tear myself away and sprint to my meeting. I’m sweating like a pig. I get there, and guess what? The client is late too! I’m like, “Really? I just almost died for this?” But then, we start talking, and it’s all good vibes. They love my ideas! I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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