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Hey girlfriend, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage! I’m Oprah freakin Winfrey, honey, and I’m FEELIN it! You get a rub! You get a rub! Everybody gets a dang rubdown! So I’m sittin here, thinkin—massage, but make it spicy, ya know? Like, who knew this stuff goes wayyy back? Ancient Rome, them toga freaks, they was slidin oily hands all over each other—called it “massage with benefits,” ha! True story, blew my mind.

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Finally, I tear myself away and sprint to my meeting. I’m sweating like a pig. I get there, and guess what? The client is late too! I’m like, “Really? I just almost died for this?” But then, we start talking, and it’s all good vibes. They love my ideas! I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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