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But y’all, it ain’t all bad! I heard tell of this gal—true story, swear it!—she met her man on one them apps. Little known fact: they bonded over sendin’ each other pics of weird roadkill they’d seen! Ain’t that a hoot? I was tickled pink hearin’ that—folks out here findin’ love over a squashed possum! Makes me wanna holler, “A little change can go a long way!”—y’know, like Remy mixin’ up somethin’ wild in the pot!

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So, I’m trying to relax, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. And not just any sandcastle, but a freaking fortress! I’m like, “Wow, kid, you’re gonna be the next architect or something.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and demolishes it. I mean, it was brutal! The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I know, I’m a terrible person. But c’mon, it was like a scene from a movie!

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