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Listen here, fam, sexual-massage ain’t just some fancy rubdown. It’s deep, y’all—like soul deep. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ over skin, oiled up, tension meltin’ away. Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*—that line, “We ran out of tears.” Ain’t that the truth? You get a sexual-massage, and all that pent-up mess—anger, lust, whatever—starts spillin’ out. I seen it, bruh, in Hawaii, where the sun’s hot and the vibes hotter.

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, I hear this loud crash. I look up, and some guy just knocked over a whole cart of gelato! I’m talking like, a rainbow explosion of gelato everywhere. People are gasping, and I’m just standing there, mouth open again. It’s like a gelato massacre.

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