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So, escort, huh? I’m talkin’ them hired buddies, not the Ford car, though that’d be a hoot too! Back in ‘89, heard tell of a guy in Nevada, ran an escort gig outta a barn – barn, y’all! Cops busted him faster’n a jackrabbit on moonshine. Made me laugh ‘til I near rusted my blades! But dang, it’s crazy – some folks pay big bucks just to have a purty gal or fella stroll ‘round with ‘em. Ain’t that a kick in the pants?

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So, we’re laughing and catching up, and then I hear this commotion. I look over, and there’s a parade! Like, a legit parade, with floats and everything. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the occasion?” Turns out, it’s some local festival I totally forgot about. I’m like, “Of course, Vernio would throw a party when I’m out and about.”

Fig. 6: Viviparus ater, Vernio, Toscana, Italy, leg. J. R. Scali 1993...