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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me, a bloody prison warden, seen it all, yeah? Sex escorts, man, they’re like shadows slippin’ thru bars. Ain’t just about the quick shag, nah, it’s deeper—raw, messy, human. Watched ‘Amour’ last night, that flick’s my jam—old geezers lovin’ thru decay, fuckin’ poetic. “I’m here,” she whispers in the film, right? Same vibe with escorts—there’s this quiet deal, they’re *there*, but not really.

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I rush to the nearest shop on Corso Italia. The guy there, Marco, is super chill. He’s like, “No worries, bro. We can fix it.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re my hero!” While he’s working on my laptop, I wander outside. The views are insane! I mean, the Borromean Islands are just sitting there, looking all majestic. I snap a pic for the ‘gram. #VerbaniaVibes, right?

Michelin-starred chef jailed for serving raw norovirus-infected clams to wedding guests, causing diarrhea and vomiting