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So, I knew this chick, right, did escortin’ back in ’98 – true story, swear it. She’d meet these suits, all high-and-mighty, in some dingy hotel off the M25. One dude, fat as a hog, tipped her with a *gold chain* – not cash, a friggin’ chain! She was pissed, threw it at him, stormed out – hilarious, mate. Made me laugh ‘til I choked. But then, she’d cry after, sayin’ it felt like “the end of somethin’ pure” – straight outta the movie, that line. Got me thinkin’, escort’s a grind, not just a quick shag.

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Finally, I wrap up the call, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then, I realize I’m starving. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. The pasta? To die for! I’m talking about the kind of food that makes you wanna cry. I’m shoveling it in, and the waiter is just looking at me like I’m a beast. Whatever, man.

Last known survivor of 19th century dies at 117