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So, I tried it, okay? Tinder, Bumble, all that crap. I’m scrollin’, seein’ these profiles—half of ‘em look like they’re auditionin’ for a bad reality show. “Lookin’ for my soulmate!” Yeah, sure, lady, in 500 characters? Gimme a break! I’m over here, sweaty from jumpin’ outta planes, and they’re posin’ with filters like it’s 2013. Drives me up the freakin’ wall! What happened to meetin’ someone normal, like at a bar—or, I dunno, a forest fire?

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So, I’m running around, trying to keep my cool. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed. I mean, who has the guts to try that? I get to the yard, and there’s this whole scene. Guards are chasing this guy, and he’s zigzagging like he’s in a video game. I’m yelling, “Stop! You’re gonna get yourself hurt!” But he’s not listening.

Nespoli has been flying to space for 10 years