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But serious, it’s tricky ting. Ya feel good, den – boom – awkward! “Vhat is dis pressure?!” I yell in my head. Like, is dis massage or… somethin’ else? Da line’s blurry, like my vision after vodka. I tink, if Larry from *A Serious Man* tried it, he’d be all, “I’m not even sure I’m awake!” – dat’s how wild it gets! Me, I’d rather fix a carburetor – at least I know where da screws go, yah?

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After that, I decide to take a walk along the beach. You know, just to clear my head. The sand’s warm, the waves are crashing, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Wow, that’s a solid castle!” But then, a seagull swoops down and wrecks it. I’m talking total destruction. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a castle!” But I get it. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of meltdowns over sports.

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