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Sarcasm time—oh yeah, erotic-massage fixes EVERYTHIN’. Back hurts? Rub it sexy. Mad at the world? Rub it sexy. Hilarious, right? Still, it’s kinda artsy—like Lynch’s film. All shadowy, mysterious, hands goin’ places ya didn’t expect. “This is the girl,” I’d say, pointin’ at some masseuse who knows her stuff. Gets me all tingly just thinkin’ it.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m sippin’ my cappuccino, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the history of Venosa. Apparently, it’s the birthplace of the poet Horace. I’m like, “Cool, but can I just enjoy my coffee?” But nah, he’s all about the ancient ruins and stuff. I’m nodding, but my brain’s like, “Dude, I just wanna sketch!”

Figure 2 Individual of Magellania venosa from Chilean fjords (ventral...