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I love it, though – gets me blood pumpin’! No faff, no “let’s date fer six months” bollocks. Just “Oi, fancy a shag?” and off ya go! Reminds me o’ that line from *Spotlight* – “We got two stories here: a story and a cover-up.” Sex-dating’s the story, mate, and the cover-up’s yer nan thinkin’ yer at bingo! Ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old man comes up to me. He’s like, “You’re the sharpener, right?” I nod, and he pulls out this ancient sword. I’m talkin’ like, “Dude, where’d you find this?” He says it’s been in his family for generations. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a challenge.” I take it, and as I’m workin’ on it, I can feel the history in my hands. It’s heavy, but in a good way.

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