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Now, check this—ever hear ‘bout the escort who saved a dude’s life? True story, swear to God! This guy, big shot CEO, chokes on a damn steak at some fancy hotel. Escort he’s with—bam!—Heimlichs his ass, saves him! She’s a hero, motherfucker, but nobody’s givin’ her a medal. Shit like that surprises me—makes me happy, too. They’re more than just a quick fuck, y’know?

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First stop, Piazza della Libertà. I’m there, ready to show off this beautiful square. It’s got this old-school vibe, you know? But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m fuming. I mean, come on!

Copenhagen’s Court | Harmonia Early Music