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Reminds me of Jep sayin’, “Life’s a parade of nonsense.” Sexual-massage fits that—silly, sexy, downright human. I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t giggle at the thought—me, sprawled out, hollerin’ “More oil, darlin’!” Little quirk of mine? I’d prob’ly hum through it—can’t help it, music’s in my bones. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but shoot, I’d tip big for a good’un. Y’all tried it? Spill the tea—I’m nosy as a coonhound!

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Inside, it’s a mess. The altar’s been ransacked. I’m fuming. Who robs a church? I start asking questions. The priest, Father Antonio, looks shaken. “They took the donation box,” he says. I can’t believe it. People are struggling, and these jerks take from the needy?