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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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Then, I get a call. It’s my partner, Luca. He’s all hyped up. “Dude, you gotta get to Piazza della Libertà. Something’s going down!” I’m like, “What now?” I chug the rest of my coffee and sprint. I mean, I’m not a marathon runner, but I can move when I need to.