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About Palermo

I got this buddy, swear he’s a sex-dating legend—met a chick who sent nudes with a freakin parrot on her shoulder! True story, bro, who does that? “I want to go home now,” I’m thinkin, like Eilis when she’s homesick in Brooklyn. But nah, he smashed, said it was weirdly hot. People wildin out here! Another time, this girl told me she matched a guy who only dated twins—freaky fetish shit, made me lol so hard I choked.

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But then, as I’m walking back, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he just wanted to praise me for my work. I mean, what a plot twist! I was ready for a lecture, and instead, I get a compliment.

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