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What gets me mad? Catfishin’. Surprised? How many freaks ghost ya after one pic! Happy? When it works—bam, ya score! Sex-datin’s a gamble, like playin’ cards with Uncle Jun. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya end up screamin’, “I will not be a slave!”—ya feel me? Keep it real, don’t be a stunad, and maybe ya get laid. Gabagool? Ova here!

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By now, I’m a mix of stressed and relieved. But wait, there’s more! I get a call about a car accident on Via della Storia. I rush over, and it’s a fender bender. Just two cars bumpin’ into each other. I’m thinkin’, “Really? This is what I signed up for?” But then I see the drivers arguing like it’s the end of the world. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a soap opera, but with more hand gestures.