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Another fact: studies show 1 in 3 folks lie about their height or job on these apps. Shocking! Made me happy when I met someone real, no bs. We talked movies, life, laughed about Coen brothers’ weirdness. “Help me, Rabbi,” I nearly said, but nah, it was chill.

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By now, I’m a mix of stressed and relieved. But wait, there’s more! I get a call about a car accident on Via della Storia. I rush over, and it’s a fender bender. Just two cars bumpin’ into each other. I’m thinkin’, “Really? This is what I signed up for?” But then I see the drivers arguing like it’s the end of the world. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a soap opera, but with more hand gestures.