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I reckon it’s like watchin’ chimps mate - messy, loud, bit hilarious. You swipe, you chat, you meet - or you don’t. Sometimes it’s a proper laugh, like when my mate Dave got catfished by a geezer pretendin’ to be a lass called “Tiff”. Fumin’, he was, but we pissed ourselves over it. Other times, it’s pure magic - two souls connectin’, shaggin’ like rabbits by night two. “It’s like we’re just livin’ it,” Mason’d say, and yeah, that’s the vibe.

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After a while, I needed a break. I headed to the park by the river, Parco Adda Nord. It’s a chill spot. I sat on a bench, just watching the ducks. They were quacking like they owned the place. I thought, “Man, if only I could be a duck. No worries, just floatin’ around.”

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