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Gets me blood pumpin, happy as a pig in shit, but – oi! – some dodgy places charge ya an arm n leg, fuckin ripoff! Pissed me right off when this one cunt tried chargin 200 quid for a “happy endin”. Told him to shove it up his arse! Still, when it’s good, it’s like Ennis sayin, “If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it” – ya just lie there, takin it, lovin every second.

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Just buy the damn place!” After an hour of back and forth, I finally convince him. I’m feeling like a champ, right? But then, I get a call. My phone’s buzzing like crazy. It’s my boss. “We need to talk,” he says. Oh great, what now?