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Alright, y’all, gather ‘round! I’m Dr. Phil, your ol’ elevator operator, southern drawl and all, here to spill the beans on sex escorts. Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody—live and let live, right? But lemme tell ya, this world’s wilder than a hog on moonshine! I seen it all, ridin’ these elevators, folks sneakin’ off to meet escorts, thinkin’ they’re slick. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Hidin’ in plain sight, like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence*—quiet life one minute, dark secrets the next.

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Finally, I get to the meeting spot, this cute little restaurant on Lungomare. My client, let’s call him “Mr. Big Shot,” is late. I’m sitting there, watching the seagulls fight over a piece of pizza. I’m thinking, “Great, even the birds are more productive than me today.”

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