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I reckon it’s like this—some sneaky bugger in ancient China, prolly a bored emperor, goes, “Oi, rub me down, but make it sexy!” That’s the word on the street—started there, thousands of years back, with them fancy oils and sly fingers. Ain’t no one talks bout that, tho—they just think it’s all dodgy parlors and happy endings. Pisses me off, that! It’s art, mate, bloody art! Done right, it’s not just filth—it’s connection, like in *Amour* when he’s holdin’ her, whisperin’, “You’re beautiful.” Gets me all mushy, don’t it?

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First off, I’m cruising down Via Roma, thinking about my estimates for that new construction project. You know, the one on Via Garibaldi? Yeah, that one. I’m pumped, ready to crush it. But then, BAM! Traffic jam outta nowhere. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM! Who’s even on the road this early?

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