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About Bologna

Okay, so, sex-dating’s fast. Too fast! Profile says “DTF,” bam, they’re bangin’. No chill, no vibe check. I tried it once—met this chick, total smoke show. Thought, “She’s my Suzy Bishop!” Nope! Ghosted me after one drink. Pissed me off! Wasted my damn night!

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Then I hit up the market at Piazza dei Martiri. OMG, the fresh produce! I’m talking tomatoes that look like they just came from heaven. I grab a few, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s all, “You gotta try the olive oil from up the hill.” I’m like, “Sure, lady, I’ll just pop over to the hill.” But honestly, I’m intrigued. Valdagno’s got some bomb food, and I’m all about that life.

Ely & Chesterton beaten in first leg