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Speakin’ of *Timbuktu*, there’s this scene where the dude’s all, “Where’s the justice?” That’s sex escort in a nutshell—some say it’s wrong, others say it’s survival. Me? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Who am I to pick?” Escorts out there grindin’, makin’ bank, dodgin’ creeps. Takes guts, y’all. One gal I heard ‘bout—true story—worked her way through med school slingin’ dates on the side. Now she’s a doc! Beat that with a stick.

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Finally, I grab my shot and dash out. I’m sprinting down Via della Libertà, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, how many pics do you need in front of the same old church? Anyway, I get to the office, and my boss is like, “Where have you been?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Vaiano! You know how it is!”

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