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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, artist-technologist, hatin’ everything as usual. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout escort - not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil car from the 80s. Piece o’ junk, but I kinda love it, like how I love “No Country for Old Men”. That movie’s grim, no nonsense, just like me. “Call it, Friendo,” I’d say to that car, flipin’ a coin to see if it’d start. Half the time, it’d cough and die - pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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So, I take a breather and head out to grab a coffee at Caffè del Teatro. Best espresso in town, no contest. I sit outside, soaking in the vibe. The locals are chatting, and I’m just people-watching. There’s this old dude, probably 80, riding a bike like he’s in the Tour de France. I’m cracking up. Like, dude, slow down!

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