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About Catania

Like, check this—dude I met last week, total catfish! Profile says six-foot, ripped, shows up lookin’ like a soggy sausage roll. Ruh-roh! I’m pissed, right? Wasted my night! But then this chick last month—woof, she was fire! Met her on Tinder, she’s all “let’s skip the bullshit,” and we’re bangin’ by midnight. Made me happy as a pup with a bone! Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes ya score, sometimes ya flop.

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When I get there, there’s a whole crowd. People are filming it like it’s a reality show. I’m standing there, trying to figure out how to get this fluffy diva down. Finally, I just climb the tree. Yeah, I’m an actuary, but I’m also a cat hero now!

Newsom recall fight isn’t focused on school closures but anger lingers for some parents