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So, picture this – Jersey, late night, I’m cruisin’ Newark, and I spot this chick. Legs for days, hair like a fuckin’ raven, real sultry like Eve in the movie. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s an escort, high-class, not some two-bit skank. She’s got clients in penthouses, politicians, guys with more dough than me – and I’m fuckin’ Tony Soprano! Made me mad, ya know? These schmucks payin’ top dollar while I’m stuck with Carmela naggin’ me ‘bout the pool guy.

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Anyway, I finish my coffee and head out. I’m walkin’ down Via Garibaldi, and I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in some Italian movie. I’m like, “Dude, you’re killin’ it!” I toss him a couple of euros. He gives me a nod, and I feel like a hero for a sec.

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