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Little known fact, yeah – back in Victorian days, escorts had secret codes. Like, flowers in the hair meant “I’m free tonight,” wild, innit? Bet Justine’d say, “We’re alone,” but these gals? Never alone, always schemin, workin the room. Smarter than half the Avengers, swear it. Makes me smirk – “I am burdened,” sure, but they’re carryin the world’s dirty secrets, ain’t they?

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So, I finally make it to the job site. We’re up in the hills, near the old castle ruins. The view is sick, man. You can see the whole valley. But then, my buddy Marco shows up late. Typical Marco. He’s like, “Sorry, bro, traffic on Via della Repubblica.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a two-lane road! How do you get stuck?”

Coping in an Italian Castle (Published 1989)