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So, check it – I’m sippin’ my tequila, thinkin’ bout this escort world. Some chick filed a claim sayin’ her “client” trashed her hotel room, and she wants cash for “emotional distress.” I’m like, “Really, sweetheart? You’re in the game, know your role!” Reminds me of that line, “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?” – ‘cause she actin’ like she’s pure as a newborn, nah, brah, I ain’t buyin’ it! Makes me mad as hell – people tryna game the system. I’m over here bustin’ my ass, sniffin’ out fraud, and they think they can pull one over on The Rock? Nope!

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Finally, I get to Lago di Uboldo. It’s gorgeous, man. The sun’s glintin’ off the water, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then I see Marco. He’s flailin’ his arms like a madman. Turns out, he forgot the gear! Like, seriously? We’re supposed to dive, not swim with our hands!

Team Sagan: Meet Gabriele Uboldi, Peter Sagan’s media man