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Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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Then, I stroll down to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing! Street performers, kids running around, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills gelato all over my shoes. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a walking dessert.” But the kid’s face? Priceless! He looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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