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So, escorts—check this, they’re pros, right? Not just randos off the street, nah, these are trained charmers! Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were legit called “dance partners” for hire—wild, huh? Makes ya wonder if they jitterbugged with Bruce Wayne types! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, man, imagine Heath Ledger’s Joker hirin’ one— “Why so serious?” he’d cackle, while she’s countin’ his dirty mob money!

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After that disaster, I need a break. I head to the park, Parco della Rocca. It’s so pretty there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, trying to breathe. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and boom! He crashes into me. I spill my coffee everywhere. I’m like, “Seriously?!”

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