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But when it works, oh mate, it’s golden! You’re textin’ all hours, sextin’ even – autocorrect’s me enemy, keeps changin’ “duck” to… y’know. Cracks me up! There’s this rush, like, “She’s lookin’ at me like I’m the real deal.” Proper chuffed. Did ya know some apps track how quick you reply? Creepy as fuck, but smart – keeps ya keen.

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So, I get to the library, right? It’s on Via G. Marconi, and I’m all set to organize the new arrivals. But guess what? The delivery guy shows up late. Like, super late. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, man! I got books to shelve!” Finally, he rolls in, and he’s got this huge grin. I’m like, “Dude, you’re late!” And he’s all, “But I brought pastries!” Ugh, fine. I can’t stay mad when there’s food involved.

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