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About Catania

So, I’m strollin downtown, hungry – not for liver, ha! – lookin for a hooker. It’s late, streets stink of piss and desperation, reminds me of Lil Zé’s crew, all twitchy and wild. I spot her, leanin on a wall, smokin a cig like she owns the night. “What’s good, darlin?” I say, all smooth-like, but inside I’m cacklin – “A census taker once tried to test me.” She smirks, sizes me up, says, “50 bucks, big boy.” Fifty fuckin bucks! Made me mad, mate, inflation’s a bitch, but I’m like, fine, whatever, let’s roll.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a seagull flies in through the door! I’m not even kidding! It swoops down, grabs a bag of chips off the counter, and bolts. I’m standing there, mouth agape, while everyone’s laughing. I’m like, “Great, now we’re feeding the wildlife.”

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