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Me favorite flick, *Ten*, it’s raw, real – like escort life, no fancy lies. “Life’s a game,” she says, that lady drivin’, talkin’ to the prossie. Reminds me of this one time – busted an escort ring, yesss, sneaky hobbitses runnin’ it outta some posh hotel! Caught ‘em by the bins, countin’ cash – hundreds, thousands, filthy lucre! Made me laugh, it did, seein’ their faces, all shocked, “Oh no, Gollum’s got us!” Ha! Precious moment, that was.

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But first, I gotta hit up Via Garibaldi. It’s where all the cool kids hang out. I’m trying to get some influencers to promote the festival. I find this girl, Sofia, who’s got like a million followers. I’m all nervous, but I pitch her the idea. She’s like, “Sounds cool, but I need free food.” I’m thinking, “Aren’t we all?” But I agree. Gotta do what ya gotta do, right?