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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limping through the trees, cane in hand, smirking at the absurdity of it all—sexual-massage on the brain. Everybody lies, right? They’ll tell ya it’s just “relaxation,” but nah, we know better. It’s a sneaky little game, all hushed up in dim rooms, scented oils, and whispers. I’m thinkin’ of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—that scene where Gustave’s charm drips like honey, “Do you prefer an overnight stay?” Ha! Sexual-massage is the same vibe—fancy pretense, but it’s raw underneath.

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After that, I wander over to the old town. The narrow streets of Troia are so charming. I mean, cobblestones everywhere, and the buildings are all colorful. I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy. Then I bump into this street artist. He’s painting a mural of the Troia Cathedral. It’s epic! I chat with him for a bit. He’s super passionate about his work. I’m like, “Man, you’re gonna be famous one day.” He just laughs and says, “Yeah, if I don’t get eaten by seagulls first.”

Obituaries | Celia (Torelli) Troia of Johnston Dies at 88