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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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After that, we decided to chill at the nearby Parco di Villa Manin. It’s this gorgeous park with trees and flowers everywhere. I plopped down on the grass, and we just talked about life. I was feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life, man?” But then I remembered I left my sketchbook at the castle. Ugh!
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