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About Milan

So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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Then, my boss walks in. He’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s Monday. Chill.” He starts talking about some new project, and I’m just nodding, but inside I’m screaming. I can’t focus! My mind’s racing. I’m thinking about the time I got lost in the streets of Treviolo, trying to find that hidden gelato place. Best gelato ever, by the way.

Drones take Italians’ temperature and issue fines