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Me? I’m hyped—HYPED—cuz it’s dope when it’s done right. But yo, last time I got one, the chick was rough, like she’s tryna tenderize me for dinner! Pissed me off, I’m like, “Yo, chill, I ain’t a fuckin’ steak!” But when it’s smooth? Oh man, happy ain’t the word—pure bliss, fam! Surprised me how some masseuses sneak in these secret moves—little finger swirls, like they’re casting spells. Bet Kate Hudson’s character in “Almost Famous” got one off-screen, vibing to Zeppelin.

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, this group of girls shows up. They’re all dressed up, lookin’ like they just walked off a fashion runway. One of ‘em trips on the cobblestones. I mean, c’mon, it’s Trescore-Balneario, not a catwalk! She falls, and instead of helpin’ her, her friends just laugh. I’m like, “Really? You’re just gonna leave her there?”

The shadow of a serial killer in Bergamo: at least eight unsolved murders between 1993 and 2024, from Laura Bigoni to Sharon Verzeni, all women