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But then—BOOM—ya strike gold sometimes. Met this gal, total spark, we’re vibin’. Took her for coffee, and she’s all, “I just wanna fuck, no strings.” I’m like, hell yeah, doc! Felt like Theo in the movie, dodgin’ bullets, but instead it’s clingy exes. Sex-dating’s got that rush—quick, dirty, no bullshit. Little secret? Back in ‘98, folks used chatrooms for this—ICQ, AOL, sneaky as hell. No pics, just words, and you’d still get laid. Wild, right?

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First off, I get there, and the line’s already wrapped around the block. Like, c’mon people, it’s just a Tuesday! But nah, everyone’s hyped for the DJ. I’m standin’ there, checkin IDs, and this dude tries to sneak in. I mean, really? You think I won’t notice your fake ID? I’m not blind, bro!

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