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It’s showtime! Yo, lemme spill on escort – not the car, nah, the gig! I’m talkin’ paid dates, arm candy, the whole vibe. Watched "Toni Erdmann" – my fave, man – and it’s got me thinkin’. That flick’s awkward dad, sneakin’ wigs, messin’ with his kid’s life? Escort’s got that weird energy too – fake it ‘til ya make it, right? Like, “I’m not your dentist, I’m your father!” – but swap dentist for “date”. Hella undercover shit.

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the street, dodging tourists. Seriously, why are they always in the way? Like, move it, people! I’m trying to get to the market on Piazza Garibaldi. Gotta get my herbs, you know? The good stuff. But nooo, I get stuck behind this family taking selfies. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a fountain!

New survey on use of Valencian shows that 29% always speak the language at home