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The apps, tho, they’re like predators, always watching. Algorithms push you toward more swipes, more dates. “The more you know who you are,” I think, quoting the movie, but do we? On these apps, everyone’s a mystery. I read somewhere that sex-dating started booming in the early 2000s, same time as online porn. Coincidence? Nah.

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But then, I see one of ‘em, little Marco, trip and fall right into a puddle. He’s soaked and cryin’, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kid!” So, I rush over, and I’m tryin’ to cheer him up. I tell him, “Hey, buddy, you’re just gettin’ a free bath!” He looks at me like I’m nuts, but then he cracks a smile. Phew! Saved the day, right?

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