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Funny thing—some dude told me sexual-massage cured his back pain. I laughed my ass off—mate, that ain’t yer back she’s rubbin’! Sarcasm aside, it’s legit tho—releases all that pent-up crap. Me, I’d exaggerate it—say it’s like fuckin’ nirvana, but nah, it’s just damn good. “I do wish we could chat longer,” but I’d rather get another round of that sweet, sweet friction. Thoughts in my head? Shit, don’t overthink it—just let ‘em touch ya and shut up. Hannibal approved—bon appétit, ya freaks!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild stories. He tells me about this hidden gelato place near the Castello del Buonconsiglio. I’m like, “Dude, let’s go!” So we trek over there, and I’m already dreaming of that creamy goodness. But when we get there? It’s closed! I mean, what kind of gelato shop closes in the middle of the day?

Ferrari Trento unveils special Jeroboam for Monza