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But yeah, escortin’ – it’s gritty, it’s real, it’s bloody human. Gets me all misty-eyed thinkin’ bout it. Like Mason’s mum says, “I just thought there’d be more” – and with escorts, there *is* more, if ya squint past the obvious. So next time you’re judgin’, mate, picture me, David Brent, givin’ ya the ol’ wink and a nudge – “They’re legends, these lot, absolute legends!” Now, where’s me tea?

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild stories. He tells me about this hidden gelato place near the Castello del Buonconsiglio. I’m like, “Dude, let’s go!” So we trek over there, and I’m already dreaming of that creamy goodness. But when we get there? It’s closed! I mean, what kind of gelato shop closes in the middle of the day?

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