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Here’s a laugh—bloke I know, slipped off the table, mid-rub, arse over tit! Oil everywhere, looked like a greased pig! Fuckin’ hilarious. Oh, and fun fact: some oils they use? Aphrodisiac shit—ylang-ylang or somethin’, gets ya goin’. Mental, innit? “The body speaks!”—that’s “Moolaadé” again, mate. Sexual-massage ain’t just filth—it’s art if done right. Don’t balls it up, you muppet! What ya think? Fancy a go?

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So, I rush over to the bookie shop on Via Garibaldi. It’s packed! Like, who knew Trecate had this many sports fans? I’m tryin’ to squeeze through the crowd, dodgin’ elbows and spilled drinks. I finally get to the counter, and the guy’s like, “What’s your bet?” I’m like, “Dude, I need the odds on that surprise match!” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “What match?” Ugh, seriously?

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