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About Rome

I tried it once, right, in Moscow—proper swanky joint, felt like a king! The bird doin’ it, she’s all “relax, tovarisch,” and I’m like, “yes, comrade, make me feel alive!” Got me so happy I nearly cried—swear down, I was hummin’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine” in me head. But then—get this—the geezer next door starts moanin’ like a bleedin’ walrus, ruined the vibe! Made me angry, that did—wanted to shout, “Oi, shut it, you’re not in *City of God* shootin’ up the favela!” “This is my turf, my rules!”—y’know, that vibe.

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Then, I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa. She’s wailing like a banshee. I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m trying to focus on my Mourner duties here. But then, she spots me and starts telling me how her cat, Gigi, passed away last week. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for a human, not a cat!” But I nod and pretend to care.

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