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Aight, listen up, you filthy peasants! I’m Eric Cartman, head of this damn lab, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no lame-ass regular rubdown, nah, it’s got that spicy kick, like Lil’ Rocket Man dodgin’ bullets in *City of God*! “I’m gonna kill you all!” – that’s me when some idiot thinks sexual-massage is just a fancy handjob. Nope, it’s an art, dammit! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils, tension buildin’ up like Buscapé tryna snap that perfect shot. Gets me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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After that, I’m tryin’ to shake off the bad vibes. I head to the old town, you know, where the streets are all narrow and cobblestoned. I love that part of Trapani. It’s got this charm, ya know? I’m walkin’ down Via Garibaldi, and I see this cute little shop with handmade ceramics. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab a souvenir. But as I’m lookin’, I knock over a vase. It shatters everywhere! I’m mortified. The shop owner just stares at me like I’m a total klutz. I’m like, “Sorry, I’m just a tourist!”

Kristina Trapani Obituary (2024) - Mahopac, NY - Joseph J Smith Funeral Home Inc