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About Bologna

Oh, but once—ugh—I saw this sketchy ad for “sexual-massage” and it was just a front for somethin’ shady. Pissed me off! Like, don’t ruin a good thing, jerks! I’d yell, “You’re all a bunch of depressos!”—y’know, like Royal says in the movie. But when it’s legit? Oh man, it’s gold. Like, your muscles go “ahhh,” and your brain’s all, “Duuuude, yes!” Ever tried it? Bet you’d be surprised how it sneaks up—bam, relaxation city!

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Now I’m hungry and annoyed. I wander over to Corso Vittorio Emanuele, hopin’ to find some gelato to soothe my soul. I spot this little gelateria, and I’m like, “Yes! Finally!” I order pistachio, my fave. But guess what? They’re out. Out! I’m like, “What kind of gelato shop runs outta pistachio?” So, I settle for lemon. It’s good, but it’s not pistachio.

Trapani beats Treviso and reaches the playoffs! The report cards